When Pain Isn't Taken Seriously
Childbirth may be the most intense pain you'll ever experience. It's hard enough to be in pain, but feeling that no one is listening or taking your concerns seriously can make it even harder.
As an obstetric anesthesiologist, I believe my job goes beyond managing your pain. I want to help make your birth experience as positive as possible while respecting your wishes and preferences. That means listening to you, explaining what's happening, and responding when you need help.
But even when everyone does their best, childbirth can sometimes feel frightening, overwhelming, or even traumatic. Perhaps you've already had a difficult birth experience, and you're worried it might happen again.
Let's talk about birth trauma, what respectful and compassionate care should look like, and where you can turn for support.
What Would You Like to Know?
Can my birth have been traumatic even if my baby and I are healthy?
Absolutely. You and your baby being healthy doesn’t tell the whole story of your birth experience. Any emotional distress that can follow a childbirth experience that felt frightening, overwhelming, or unsafe is birth trauma. It might involve an emergency C-section, severe labor pain despite having an epidural, or feeling that decisions were being made without your understanding or involvement.
Sometimes, it's not just what happened medically, but how you were treated and how you felt during the experience. And while some women develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after childbirth, many do not. You don't need a diagnosis to deserve understanding and support.
What should I expect from my care team when difficult decisions need to be made?
You deserve to understand what's happening and to have a voice in decisions about your care.
When a procedure or treatment is recommended, your team should explain why it's needed, what to expect, the potential benefits and risks, and whether other options are available. This means a two-way conversation is had, not simply a consent form to sign. You should feel comfortable asking questions and expressing your concerns.
Small gestures matter, too. Introducing ourselves, explaining what we're about to do, asking permission before touching you, and respecting your privacy can go a long way toward helping you feel safe and supported.
And if you've had a difficult experience in the past, you can tell your team what would help you feel more comfortable this time around without having to share details you're not ready to discuss.
What if things happen quickly or my birth plan changes?
Childbirth can be unpredictable. Sometimes, situations arise that require decisions to be made quickly, leaving less time for discussion. But even during an emergency, you deserve clear explanations and respectful care.
Your obstetric and nursing teams should explain what's happening and involve you in decisions as much as the situation allows. Your anesthesia team should also explain what they're doing, what you can expect to feel, and how they'll keep you comfortable and safe.
If everything happens too quickly to fully understand, it's okay to ask questions afterward. You can request a conversation with your care team to review what happened, why certain decisions were made, and anything that still worries or confuses you.
What if I've had a traumatic birth experience before?
If you've had a difficult or traumatic birth, it's understandable to feel anxious about going through childbirth again. You don't have to wait until you're in labor to bring up those concerns.
I encourage you to talk with your obstetrician or midwife during pregnancy. If your previous experience involved an epidural that didn't work well, pain during a C-section, or another anesthesia-related concern, please request a consultation with an obstetric anesthesiologist before your delivery. This gives you an opportunity to explain what happened, ask questions, and discuss how your anesthesia care might be approached differently this time.
While no one can promise that everything will go exactly as planned, having these conversations ahead of time can help you feel more prepared, informed, and reassured.
You deserve to have your concerns taken seriously, especially when you've had a difficult experience before.
Ten Things I Want You to Know Before Labor
From when to ask for an epidural to what happens if it doesn't work as expected, here are some of the things I wish every expectant parent knew before arriving at the hospital.